The Best Wedding Speech / Best Man Toast Ever!

Written by Hans Anderson with performance help from John at the Chris Knoop & Heather Rozenboom wedding. Click more info to see the lyrics! This is Chris in a nutshell Just a list of things that I must tell Until Heather realizes what shes done now Ah well, hes out of my hands, hes her deal now Shes gonna be dealin with his lack of sense Shes gonna be dealin with his flatulence How he opens the door when he goes number 2 Let me tell you what I love about Chris Knoop! Its the way he makes people notice him Its the way he makes people protest when They first find out hes a pharmacist This dude cant be dispensin drugs He once sucked up beer spilt on someones rug! And we all know Chris aint no fashion bug Him and I used to wear matching Zubaz Oh yeah, and its worse than ya think My mom made them for us, they were hot pink! And into our teens he was the last to wear jeans Hed wait and wait The kid wore sweatpants until the ninth grade Thats just Chris those things never mattered to him What always mattered most were his family and friends So lucky for Heather and lucky for Hans Chris has always had a thing for blondes! And now I find myself here with my best best friend As his best man at his first . . . and only wedding And I think, should I be singing his praises, how hes such a great guy Yeah well I cant sing, and I wont lie But I love this guy, I love him to death Since I was 7, hes never once not been my best friend And I love Heather too, shes turned out to be just …